Saturday, October 23, 2010

Pine Island Glacier Traverse

It's known as the PIG but it stands for Pine Island Glacier Traverse. It is a long traverse that will go from Wais Divide field camp to Byrd Camp and make a couple of trips to the Glacier. Unlike the South Pole Traverse which has been going on for years, this one is mapping out a new road to a really remote part of Antarctica. And I'm going on it.

All of a sudden my life has changed dramatically after a quick 15 minute breakfast conversation. I was happily doing my dream job as duty fork operator here in Fleet Ops and really enjoying it. Then I was casually talking with a friend over breakfast who is leading this traverse & he said his equipment operator had dropped out and he was looking for someone immediately. I told him to call my boss as I'm sure he'd recommend a good operator, that I'd love to go but was sure I wasn't qualified, but that it couldn't hurt to ask. I walked to work actually forgetting about the conversation and the minute our toolbox meeting was over in the morning my boss called me into his office & had me sit down and said "how would you like to go on a real Antarctic adventure?" I said yes with every fiber of my being, tingling and in shock. Why me? After 6 seasons of hard work and loving the Ice I realized I wanted more and started putting my intention there. When I got the contract in Fleet Ops I thought it couldn't get any better than that. I worked all Winfly helping support Traverse Ops and saw how much hard work was involved in preparing for a traverse. I thought, maybe someday I'll be able to do that...maybe after 5 years or so in the department. But I've only been an operator for 2 months and I get this opportunity of a lifetime. I was ecstatic for a day and then the fears and doubts attacked me yesterday. I started realizing all the cool stuff I'd miss in McMurdo, the fun two day weekends, the bonding I've done with my dept., and especially: Icestock and Offload. I will be leaving on my 50th birthday to fly to Wais Divide. This gift seems oiled into place by the Universe. It's like my blessings were there waiting for me but I just had to wait for them on their time. I did keep putting it out there what I wanted more opportunities to get off station and learn all the equipment. Be careful what you ask for in a big way! It will be my first time on the actual continent.

The irony is that getting something really exciting can feel as heartbreaking as not getting it. I cried all day yesterday and was having buyer's remorse...but after some deep talks with some evolved people I realized I was just going through my usual major life change meltdown. I will be leaving a fiery hot and passionate romance, a cozy room, and a job I love. I've never said the words "having to leave a job I love...!" But this opportunity just fell in my lap & I couldn't say no. It might be hard and grueling and boring at times (the 12 hours of driving days) but it is so different than anything I've ever experienced and so outside my comfort zone and that is what I love most. I love learning my limits of what I can and cannot do. I was so worried about my current job as an operator: that I'd mess up, that I would look like a fool, that I just wouldn't be good enough. I have rocked it. I have done a stunning job even if I'm the only one saying it. It has been incredible. Now I will be sleeping with two men in a berthing raft in the middle of nowhere Antarctica. I still can't believe it's happening. It will be incredible. We are called Piglets...hopefully, we will be the Merry Piglets... ;-)

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